My name is Nicole. I was asked by a friend to share with you my testimony. My husband and I were married in June of 2000, and like some people I wanted to start a family right away, but my husband said we should wait for a while. I agreed to this and thought he made a valid point that we should spend time being a couple before we bring children into our marriage. In February of 2001 my husband told me he was ready and I could not be happier. I went off my birth control right away. I thought I would be pregnant by the summer, but much to my surprise I was not. After a year of trying I still was not pregnant. I went to my gynecologist and asked her if she could check me for endometriosis a condition that causes infertility. She referred me to an infertility specialist. They did a surgery and found that I did indeed have the condition, and with a laser removed it. We also decided to start infertility treatment. I was put on several drugs and told to have intercourse at a certain time. We did this for 4 months and nothing. We took a break for a few months, and then we started the process for artificial insemination or IUI. Due to a doctors mistake I made too many eggs to proceed with the IUI. If more then 2 eggs were fertilized they would want to abort them and I said no so that was it.

I felt abandoned by God, like he gave up on me, and I started losing my faith. I stopped going to church and I stopped praying. I thought "what's the point?",God wasn't listening to me anyway. My decision to give up on God didn't just affect me, but it affected people around me. I became depressed and withdrawn. I lost my best friend because of what I was doing. I needed to find my faith again, and become the person I was. It took me a good year and a half to get rid of Satan. I really believe that it was Satan whispering all those horrible things about God in my ear. I determined that no matter what, I would never let Satan get to me like that again. Boy did God test me on that! Now it had been almost three years and still no baby. We bought a new house and settled in, I think we were here about a year, when my cousin came to me and told me he wanted my husband and I to adopt his baby. His girlfriend was 4 months pregnant and they could not take care of the baby and wanted us to take it. Finally! I thought God had answered my prayers for a child. Maybe I didn't get pregnant because I was supposed to adopt! Everything was going great or at least that's what I thought. If you can believe this, 2 weeks before the baby was to be born, my cousin and his girlfriend took off and left the state. And left us with no baby. However, even though I was devastated, I did not turn my back on God. I stayed strong in my faith and I knew that this happened for a reason. My husband and I prayed about what to do next. Unsure really of the answer that we received, we called our infertility specialist anyway to tell her that we wanted to do in vitro fertilization or IVF. This is where they take my eggs and fertilize them with my husband sperm in a dish and then implant the embryos into my uterus. We thought this is what God wanted us to do, and a fool proof way to have a baby because for most people it works the first time. Unfortunately, it wasn't fool proof for us. I miscarried the embryos they implanted and all the extra ones were not good enough to implant and had to be destroyed. My doctor called me about a week later and told me that my embryos were the worst she has seen in a women my age (I'm only 28) and that I would never have my own child. I cried for days and found comfort in God and prayer and my friends and family. I knew that God was letting this happen, but I didn't know why. I gave up on a baby of my own and though I would just take a year or two and save up some more money and we would adopt a baby from out of the country.

In the meantime, I took time to help take care my sick father and my brothers. Four months after that last phone call from my doctor I found out that I was pregnant. God had never given up on me. He was simply saying trust in me and in MY time I will give you your hearts desire. I wanted a baby in my time not God's time. The night I found out I was pregnant I got down on my knees and thanked Jesus for the gift that he had given me. Just 4 months ago I was told I would never have my own child, but my doctor is only human and doesn't have the power that God has. It took 51/2 years to get pregnant, but I know God knows what He's doing. I needed that time to grow as a Christian and as a wife. I am more prepared now to have a baby then I was in the beginning. If you are reading this and you don't believe in God, I'm telling you He is as real as you and I. I have seen what He can do. I have felt his power, his mercy, and his grace. I pray that you will too.

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