Jannan - Shreveport, LA PDF Print E-mail

Seven seems very young to fully know the extent of what Jesus can do and will do throughout a lifetime as a child of God, but with true child-like-faith, I leapt. I have never had a doubt from that moment on that Jesus is with me. He is omniscient, and omni-present. He is Jehovah, the Prince of Peace, Emmanuel. He is my rock, and my salvation.

With stating my salvation, I must also say that I have had different trials in my life. I've prayed to God, pleaded with God, questioned God, but never have I once doubted his presence within me. My college years at Louisiana Tech were some of the most trying times in my life so far as a Christian. I had many professors and acquaintances who did not have faith, and who were not Christians. I considered the things each one had to say, and I even wondered if some of the points they made had validity. But each time my faith quivered or my mind wandered, Jesus brought me right back to him. I dated a guy for 3 years during college. He was not a Christian, and our relationship was very tumultuous for the most part. I prayed for him and I thought I could bring him to Christ, but ultimately our relationship kept me from church, and my relationship with God was on shaky ground. I didn't read my Bible as much; I didn't engage in Christian activities at school as much either. I did however, as I was taught and believed, prayed. Prayer was the one connection that I kept with God during that time, and I know now that prayer is what saved me from continuing down the road I was traveling.

When I got married to Scott, I knew that I was in evenly-yoked relationship. He believed that Jesus had saved him from his sins, and he knew that God would guide us through our marriage. Our first year of marriage was hard, as I'm sure most marriages are, but each time we disagreed or felt like giving up, Christ brought us back to him through his word and through prayer. We are very fortunate that we had little to worry about during our first few years as a married couple. But when we began talking about adding to our family and began trying to conceive a child, God had other plans.

Scott and I tried for months and months to conceive without the help of fertility specialists or medications, but after about 6 months of trying, I saw my doctor. He ran some tests, and he determined that I was not ovulating. He gave me a medicine to take every month for a few days that should stimulate ovulation, and ultimately help us to conceive a baby. I stayed on the medicine for about 6 months. We prayed and asked God for help. We desperately wanted a child, and we just knew the drugs would help. But, they didn't. I revisited the doctor several times, but nothing we tried worked.

We eventually saw a fertility specialist in Dallas. He ran some preliminary tests and encouraged me to have exploratory surgery to discover the exact problem. He tested Scott, as well for fertility problems, but everything checked out perfectly. After the surgery, I had a post-operative appointment with my doctor, and he broke the news to Scott and me. He told us that I had Poly-Cystic Ovarian Syndrome, PCOS. This meant that my ovaries were producing eggs each month, but these eggs would inbed in the ovary causing a multitude of cysts. The doctor told Scott and me that we would probably not be able to conceive naturally. We were crushed and devastated. Our hopes and dreams came crashing down. We thought of a life without children and grandchildren and were heartbroken. Who would fill our home with laughter and love? How would we make it? I felt so guilty. I felt like, because of me, Scott would never be a father.

About 2 months later, Scott and I were really doing well. We were sad, but God had reminded us that we married each other because of the love we shared, and that we truly wanted to be together forever--children or not. We made plans to travel, and we even prayerfully considered the adoption process.

In May, a young, pregnant girl and her family approached Scott and me about adopting her baby. Naturally, we were shocked by this. In the school district where I was a teacher, many of my colleagues knew about our circumstances, and this young mother-to-be was a student at the high school. She found out by word-of-mouth, that Scott and I were looking to adopt, and out of the blue she called our house. We took one step at a time, and before long, we visited with an adoption attorney, got the paper work rolling, and were going to doctor's appointments with the birth mother. We grew to love her. We loved our unborn baby girl so, so much. We got to see sonograms and take pictures home with us to share with our family. It seemed like God's perfect plan for us. Our prayers had been answered. We were finally going to become parents.

In early October, when our birth mother was about 7 months pregnant, Scott received a phone call from the young girl's mother. He soon called me at work to let me know that there would be no adoption; our birth mother had changed her mind.

We prayed and prayed and asked God, "Why us, Lord, why." We thought this was his plan. How could we've come so far to have this happen?

Well, soon after we asked why; we received our answer. Four weeks after being told the news that our baby was was remaining with her biological mother, I called Scott and told him that I was pregnant. Nine months later, Margaret (Maggie) Grace Bland was born. We got our little girl. We had our baby. God sent us a miracle. He answered our prayers. He brought us through another trial and made peace in my life just as he's always done. He was my hope then; he is my hope now. He is who Maggie will know as her savior, and she will always belong to him.

If you are reading this and you have not accepted Jesus into your life, please, please know, HE is the one who can heal your pain, take away your sorrow, relieve your doubts, and guide you to a place that abounds with peace and joy. Believe in him, and you will be saved. Love him, and you will be with him always, even after your life on earth is over. He loves you. He's waiting for you to invite him into your life.

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