What separates us as believers in Christ from the non-believer? The answer is that the believer in Christ should be following the principles and desires of Christ. This is why God gave us His inspired word; he wants us to follow it.

2nd Timothy 3:16, “All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness."

James 1:22, “But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves.”

Does this mean that if what God wants from us goes against what we want we should still do it? The answer again is absolutely yes. So what is it that God would have us to do in regards to divorce?

Well, in order to understand what God would have us to do in the subject of divorce we must go to the beginning, before divorce is even possible, marriage. Through the Scriptures we see marriage taking place. However we must go to the beginning, the book of Genesis, to get a grasp of what God the Father had intended. This is so important because we want God’s perspective on what marriage is and not man’s. The reason for this is because when we look at man’s thought of what marriage looks like we will find that it becomes distorted. The reason for this is the sin nature of man . The reason God’s perspective is what we want is because of who He is, He is perfect and unchanging. Because of the non-communicable attributes of God we know for certain we will get the big picture of what God wants and expects of marriage.

The Bible tells us in the book of Genesis 2:24,

Genesis 2:24, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”

Pictured here for us is marriage. This is the very first glimpse of marriage found in the Bible and what a great verse for us to understand about the desire God has for us through marriage. First, we see that God’s desire was for man (singular) and woman (singular) shall come together. This is not for man and man nor woman and woman but it is for man and woman. Understanding one man and one woman, we will begin to see why we do not practice polygamy (multiple spouses).Second, the instruction for the man is to leave his parents and “cleave” to his wife. The word cleave is defined as adhering firmly. In other words, as I heard a preacher once say, this is sticking to your spouse like glue, you become inseparable. Without the cleaving you will see that marriages begin to breakdown and fall apart.

This principle that God gave us is not just in the Old Testament. We find that Christ reinforces the same principles in the New Testament.

Matthew 19:5, “And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.”

Notice the similarities of the Old and New Testament. One man and one woman coming together as one flesh.

When we understand the fact that God wants us to become one we also have to understand that there is no going back. Let me give you an example of this. If we look to Malachi we will find God’s heart in regards to divorce.

Malachi 1:16, “For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away…”

In this verse we see God addressing the issue of “putting away” or in other words, divorce. God hates divorce. If God hates divorce shouldn’t we? Where do we stand when it comes to divorce? Lets look at the liberal way of thinking about this subject of divorce. So many times people bring up the fact that the two in marriage are non-compatible. They say, “we know we shouldn’t divorce but we are not happy.” I love to hear people say, “I know what God wants but”… Basically what they are saying is that they don’t care what God says, they will do what they want in hopes that God will forgive them once the action is taken. I do want to mention at this point Romans 6:1,

Romans 6:1, “What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound?”

Are we such arrogant and cocky people to think that God will forgive us even though we have plainly disobeyed? This is how liberal minded people think about divorce.

So, God hates divorce, no matter what. Even if you are married to a man/woman that does not love God. Look at Malachi 2:11-16. In these verses we find that even though the people had come together, through marriage, and they worshiped false gods they were not to put away or divorce that person. No question about it, God was very clear about the desire that He had for marriage in that it was between one man and one woman. He was also very clear about His stand on divorce, He hates it. No matter what we have to take what God has said and make our stand. No exceptions.

You may be asking the question, “if God hates divorce then why does He give us the okay in Deuteronomy 24:1?”

“When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house.”

The answer is found in Romans 1:24,

Romans 1:24, “Wherefore God also gave them up to uncleanness through the lusts of their own hearts, to dishonour their own bodies between themselves:”

You see, God will turn you over to the lust of your flesh. This basically means that if you want to do what you want more then being obedient to God then you can go but there will be consequences. There will be repercussions to the act of disobedience. If you are married you are not to get divorce and if you do it becomes an entangling web of sin.

Matthew 5:32, “But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.”

The Bible is very clear in stating that if you put away your wife and then re-marry you are causing both the spouse and the person that then marries him/her to sin because the woman becomes an adulteress. It is sad to think that so many people have left their spouse to be with another and we just look past it as though it is nothing. Well, it is something. Its called sin. Think about this, if we know someone that sleeps with multiple people (while unmarried) we have names that we call them such as adulterer/adulteress. However, when people get married, divorced and then married again we just look past it. God does not. He is very clear that if you marry someone, no matter what, you are to stay married or else you become an adulterer.

For those that deal with abusive marriages and spouses walking out on you. God has an answer for this as well.

1st Corinthians 7:11, “But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.”

If you have to leave an abusive relationship or your spouse walks away from you, you are not to re-marry but instead you should wait and reconcile. If reconciliation is not a possibility then you stay separated but do not divorce.

One of the many things that I love about the Bible is that when we think that we are the only one to deal with something the Lord shows us just the opposite. As you are reading this you might be thinking, “this is so unrealistic, how could God desire me not to divorce? My spouse has done things that are unforgivable.” Let me give an example of God’s seriousness toward marriage, no matter what the circumstance is. In the Old Testament we find the first among the twelve minor prophets called Hosea. Hosea was as prophet that God used to prove the relationship between the children of Israel and God. I must warn you not to look at this book as only an analogy. Sometimes we take the Scripture and make it say what we want. This is definitely truth that God revealed to us through the life of a person, which is Hosea. Hosea was a man that was married to a harlot (prostitute). While he is married to this woman she runs back to do what she had been doing, prostitution. Notice that God never once said to Hosea that he should divorce her. Why? The answer is found through the Scripture that we have already discussed. God hates divorce (Malachi 1:16) and His intent is for us to have one wife. The relationship that we have as husband and wife corresponds with the relationship that we have with God. Once we are saved we are with God forever. The same is true in our relationship with our spouse, once we are married we are with them until death. God doesn’t give up on us in our relationship just because we go back into sin (much like the circumstance with Hosea and his wife, Gomer). The same is true, once again, in our relationship with our spouse. We should never give up and divorce our spouse just because something has been done that we feel as though we can’t forgive.

Realistically speaking, didn’t Hosea have a legitimate reason for divorcing his wife? She cheated on him then to add fuel to the fire Hosea bought her for fifteen pieces of silver and a homer of barley.

Hosea 3:2, “So I bought her to me for fifteen pieces of silver, and for an homer of barley, and an half homer of barley.”

The difference between Hosea and us, Hosea was obedient to what God wanted. He was more interested in doing all that God wanted from him. And maybe that is where we fail, we want what we want more than what God wants. We want what makes us feel good opposed to what God wants. Yes, God gives us an out of marriage but it doesn’t mean that it is what He wants. God has given us an out so that you can be turned over to your own desire. However, that is dangerous territory when God turns you over to your own desires. God said He hates divorce for a reason. He doesn’t want us to do it. The question now, what will you do? Will you follow after the will of God in order to fulfill all that He has for you or will you follow your own desire? Which is more important to you? You are now at a crossroad and you must make a decision. Keep your eye on Heavenly things and no matter the circumstance and no matter the problem God will take you through all that you thought you could never handle.